incomplete and all alone

just like i thought
i was just a booty call
i'm always second best
and i never really get what i want
why did i even think he was going to be any different
"i don't want to hurt you anymore" uhm... then why don't we just get back together and be happy like we were
oh yeah... thats right... because you probably never really loved me

i get how people can fall out of love
if the person is too clingy or if they do things that severely irritate you
or if they change
but i am none of that
i just don't understand how i'm never enough
i just don't understand why i'm always the one to get hurt

i seriously don't even think i want to go through day to day things anymore
honestly all week i have been staring at this bottle of mixed pills near my bed
just waiting for the day for me to just swallow them all whole
maybe that day will be sooner than i thought
maybe that kid was right... nothing ever gets better

now i truly don't think i will ever be happy
i was never meant to be happy

i guess its just not my calling

i feel like such an idiot for being so in love with him
i should have known it was all just doing to end
nothing last forever
and i am not meant for happiness

i know now that i will forever be in pain
i guess there's really no reason for anything anymore

everything just sucks.