The Only Way to Live

When you are searching around for someone to be with

You will never find them

When you give people what they want

They will drop you once they got what they wanted

I don’t get why people just aren’t nice anymore

Why people can’t be intimate with each other without the girl being called a slut

And the boy being called a player

And the reassurance that he won’t leave you

-sigh- Things just aren’t the same anymore

Where are all the gentlemen?

Why do they live so far?

Or why are they only gentlemen when it’s most convenient for them?

Maybe its just the way the world is now

It seems like everything is all about violence and sex

I think it should be about love and caring

…Well we can still have sex there ;]

Lol

I don’t really know anymore

I guess I just wish that people weren’t so stupid

RAWR! Lol

Anyways

Stop being stupid people

And be actually caring 

Its All For You…Its All About "Love"

You always wish people the best

When you say your goodbyes and fair-wells

You want to make sure that before they leave

That their lives are far less complicated than yours

I always seem to wish for you

I’m not saying you’re the best

You’re actually probably the worst

I mean…shit

You kind of treated me like crap

I mean…I don’t think you did on purpose

I think you were just ignorant

Haha… I still think you are

I know that you are still in love with her

And that’s great for you

But it’s torturous for me

Every time I listen to certain songs

I get a little teary-eyed or my vision becomes blurred 
{that also might be because I’ve been refusing to wear my glasses}

Especially If It Means A Lot To You

And You Had Me At Hello

Because I thought those songs applied to us well

Haha

I guess If It Means A Lot To You applies to us the best

Because in the end one of them gets left and their life is crashing around them

But of course I might be happy again

And maybe we could be friends

I highly doubt it, but we can always try

I’m not extremely angry with you

I am just so confused

I mean… why would you give someone false hope like that?

Give them kisses on the lips, cheek, neck

Call them pretty and say that you like looking at them

Gripping them oh so tight and making noises that sound so home-y and comforting

And then take it out from under them…

I don’t see how someone can be so heartless

But of course you did once tell me that you were heartless

I guess over time I tried to ignore that fact

You’re lucky though

I wish I was heartless

Because pain in the heart usually affects other things

Like your stomach for example

I was throwing up after the news you told me how ever many Sundays ago

It may not even have been because of you

I just thought the irony of that was very interesting

The funniest part about this blog is that

I don’t even care for you as much as it probably sounds like I do

I think that maybe you do need to do what you said

I think that maybe you need to put yourself together before you can be in a relationship

And maybe your statuses are about me

So if they are…

I want to give you a piece of advice

And this isn’t even mainly for me

You can use this on any other girl

I think a guy like you will need it.

If you hurt a girl

Maybe not even like the way you did to me

But if you hurt a girl in any way

Especially if you make her cry

It is really hard to get them back to how and where you want them

The strong ones at least

And I really hope you aren’t interested in the weak ones

As an old friend, I’m telling you to not be like that

You are going to have to really dig deep to get them back

There is obviously the traditional stand-by

The whole roses and chocolate thing

But that’s a load of bullshit

Girls say they want that stuff

But once we get it, we’re going to say to you

“That’s it?”

Personally, I’ve always wanted a guy to send me flowers to one of my classes

And then come visit me after I was done with school

Or just come visit me at school

With a bouquet of roses and this big speech about how big of an idiot he was

Hahaha

Sorry…just thinking about some guy doing that makes me laugh

Because…no offense… but boys are so cocky and stupid

They would never be able to put themselves on the line of humiliation and even the score

And I know it’s really difficult for you boys to admit that you were wrong…

But I think if you really care for a girl…

You should do anything you can to make her happy

I think that’s really all it is

Just happiness

And god damn I need a big dose of that

So I hope some one is holding the prescription

Because I’m itching for a cure

Random...as always [x

Okay so here’s what been going on

Wow I haven’t written a blog in FOREVER! Hahaa

Well… life is always…life-ish x]

By the way, this is going to be a very un-formal blog

I’m in class right now so my brain is a bit *boop*

ANYWAYS!

There are a few things lately that have been pissing me off

I’m going to give you the main word right here, right now

BOYS!

Honestly boys have been making me want to kill myself

Lol not really… but they have been driving me CRAZY

There are a few things I honestly don’t understand about boys

Why can’t guys just tell girls how they feel?

I know us girls don’t really say anything either

But its because we are waiting for the guys to speak up

-sigh- relationships are SO COMPLICATED lol

Also… What’s the rule on asking someone out?

I mean obviously I am not going to ask a boy out

Becaaause THAT’S EMBARASSING

FOSHO! Lol I’m on crack …sorry its just one of those days

I think my brain has turned to goo lol

Well this is a really pointless blog

Well at least I’m giving you something

I also realized something that is madly obvious

I HAVE AN OBSESSION WITH BLACK HAIR AND PIERCINGS!

On me and on guys

Pretty much, if you have long “emo” hair then you’re pretty good looking

But if you have long black “emo” hair then you are hott as hell

BUT! If you have long black “emo” hair and snakebites…then you are a fucking GOD!

LMFAO

I have so many issues its like CRAZY

Hahaha

Alright this blog was super pointless

But at least it’s something

Better ones to come guys

<3

Prince? or Frog?

I seriously have no idea who to believe

I mean in a way I want to believe the guy I have never met

But also I want to believe the incessant asshole

I honestly have no idea who to believe

I think I shouldn’t fully trust either

And just be cautious for the future

This honestly is not the first time I’ve been hurt

It’s probably the 7,890,475,837,539,789,645^th time

Hahaa seems like a lot doesn’t it?

And you’d think I’d be use to it by now

But I’m never going to be used to it

Either way… if the rumor is true or not

I think the guy I never met should try hard to earn my trust

I was telling my best friends,

“He better fucking send me roses twice a week for a month before he even thinks I’m going to trust him again” lol

Hey…I’m a sucker for roses

I still find it hilarious that the rumor was that I was in love with him

Uuuhm…lets recap

I HAVE NEVER MET YOU! Lol

I mean yes…I say I’m in love with Dahvie Vanity and Vic Fuentes

But that’s creepy super-fan stuff lol

I don’t do that with normal people

I know how to stand on my two feet

So I don’t really need someone telling me what my feelings are

Because I know what’s truly inside me

Its kind of hard to really depict what I feel inside towards this situation

But I’m going to kind of stop trying so hard

Because I don’t really know who to trust

And he’s got to figure out what he really wants to do

And what he really wants before he can get me all caught up in it

And he better find a good fucking way to apologize haha

Or at least be like “I don’t know why people are lying but here’s something to make it up to you…”

Lol, you know what I’m saying?

All I'm saying is that I like you

But the trust isn't fully there anymore

I’m just really sick of getting fucked over

It would be really great if I could find something and someone legit

But I guess you’re just going to have to prove it to me…

Prove to me who and what you truly are

The littlest things

Smiles

Kisses on the cheek

Hugging

Just listening to us blab on

Accepting us for just the way we are

Grabbing our hands to hold them

Deep red roses

Wrapping your arms around our waists

Random texts saying that you care

Flowers when we’re sick

Randomly telling us that we’re pretty/cute/beautiful 

Snuggling

Running around with us

Never letting go

Pulling us closer

Holding us tight

Being able to take our breath away

Sweeping us off our feet

Serenading for us

Dancing in the rain with us

Writing those words that are sung just for us

Sharing your dreams with us

Letting us into your world

While also accepting ours

Caring about our hopes, dreams, admirations

Just like we do for you

Yelling, fighting, screaming

Yelling because you care

Fighting because you need us just as much as we need you

Screaming because you know once we’re done crying we just want your arms

Kissing to cover the tears, tears get whipped away

And 3 little words and later exchanged… I love you

Later realizing that you help our problems disappear

The littlest things mean the world…

The little stages to knowing that you are in love

Or at least to knowing what you want

And I think writing this helped me figure out what I really want…

Little bit of this, a little bit of that

There are so many different things that people look for in love

There’s the matter of lust, love, true romance, intimacy, chivalry…and much more

All I really want is someone who can sweep me off my feet

Someone who accepts me for who I am

Someone who thinks that I’m funny

Someone who doesn’t care about my accent

Someone who cares about my hope, dreams, and admirations

Someone who thinks I’m always pretty

Someone who can love me for just the way I am

I want someone to cuddle with

Someone to kiss

Someone to have them hold me heart

Even though it’s quite shattered

Someone who can understand space

Someone who is there for me to talk to

Its weird to think that all we long for is perfection…

When it doesn’t really exist

We long for something that isn’t really there

I’m not saying I don’t wish for perfection

I just want someone who is at least equipped with most of it

I mostly want someone who understand emotions…

Someone who is okay with talking

And also someone who is comfortable with the silence

Because I love just holding hands and enjoying each others warmth

I’m not saying I’m looking for someone to fall in love with

Just someone who can show me they care…

And maybe later fall in love

Hmm…

I mostly enjoy the presence, and the way people’s mind-sets are

And if I can fall in love with the way you think, then I can fall in love with you

Honesty is the most important thing to me

So please…let me trust you

{kinda crappy blog^}

"what the hell is A.D.D.?" "babe, whats your age again? whats yur age again..."

What happened to chivalry?

Is it really only in movies?

Don’t you want guys to open the door for you?

And ohmygod

What is it about you boys and having the worse A.D.D.?

Can’t you guys just focus for a little bit?

I mean we’re girls, and we love romance

Like when your kissing us, we want you to focus on that

And if you must stop, then tell us something cute

Like “your so beautiful”, or “I’m so happy you’re mines”, or “you are the cutest thing”

Cute and romantic shitt like that

But it seems like we females have to write out a book for you guys xD

And this is on a sexual note

I know you boys take awhile to grow up

But cummon… I know all guys want to get it in xD

Sooooooo if you guys are in that mood

THEN STAY IN THAT MOOD!!!!

Don’t go off and talk about something else

That just ruins it!

You guys have to understand that you need to be affectionate and romantic

That’s the whole idea of BF and GF

DUUUUH!!!! xD

Oh and girls often give quick kisses

So don’t automatically expect your going to get a make-out scene

Sooo….pucker for quick kisses xD

DON’T GET OVERLY EXCITED!!!! xD 

I Won't Say I'm In Love

The reason why I don’t let myself love

There are many reasons

Mostly because I find love absolutely horrideous

And I think that its so stupid

I’ve seemed to fall in love with a lot of people who never seemed to love me back

Yes holding hands and kissing and maybe even having sex seems like true affection

But really its just a way to feel accepted and get some sort of love that fills an emptiness in your soul

I know that I’ve loved people before

But every time I fall in love

I get torn apart

I fell in love with a boy once

I was in 7^th grade,

And I felt like he was the most perfect guy in the world

But to my surprise he was hiding things from me

I should have seen it coming, especially to the fact that people were saying that he was cheating on me behind my back

But me being so “in love”, I didn’t listen

I loved the affection and I felt like we were so in love that I couldn’t believe what they said

I should have known though, he was acting different…

But guess when I did find out that he was…

My 13^th birthday…great birthday present, right?

We obviously broke up that night

And it absolutely tore me apart.

I cried for so many months.

And I guess to feed his ego, I got over him probably mid 8^th grade

Another boy I truly fell in love with,

He was the quarterback of the football team

And he was such a piece of heaven

Him and I only went out for a couple months

But I knew he was so special

His only issue was that he cared too much about what others thought

And didn’t ever want to talk to me about his feelings…

And that’s pretty much the reason why we broke up

The first time we broke up, I broke up with him because I needed something different

After I realized I was a total idiot, I pretty much begged for him back.

It wasn’t exactly the same after that, and I knew it wasn’t going to be

After a while I thought our romance was blossoming

But boy, was I wrong

Apparently he was letting other people run his life…mostly meaning our relationship

And because everyone said he was “so whipped on me” and whatever else

And because he was jealous that I have a lot of guy friends and that I let them pick me up and shitt like that

He dumped me…

I was completely heart broken.

When he broke up with me I cried really hard

I couldn’t cry in front of him

So I ran off to the bathroom and locked myself in a stall

Thank god I have really good friends

Because Violet and Erica climbed under the stall to come talk to me

And by the way, if you guys are reading this, I love you guys a lot for being there for me.

Honestly, I have no idea when I’m going to get over that guy…

I hate him, but at the same time I hope he gets better and learns to not give a fuck

And falling in love became more difficult when it came to falling in love with a female

She wasn’t like anyone I had ever met

And she seemed to have this quiet mystery to her, which as most people know, I am a total sucker for

Her and I had so much in common

And its weird to even think that we’re not together now

I don’t know, I guess…well actually I know, I did a lot of wrong in that relationship

I mean, I’m not going to lie but commitment kind of scared me

It mostly scares me when people tell me they want to marry me

Because I hate marriage and the fact that they’re thinking that far ahead…its kind of scary

And yes in a way it makes me blush because it makes me think that I’m that important…but still

Anyways, her and I really had our entire lives planned out

And I thought our breakup was only going to be temporary

But I'm pretty sure now it’s permanent

I can’t say I’m sad, but nor can I say I’m happy about it

Especially knowing that our whole thing was a lie

I didn’t even know that you were lying to me the whole time

But I guess in a way I did too

But I know that I did love you…

I think it definitely tainted something that could have been a wonderful friendship

Often times it’s hard to look at her

And often times it’s hard for me to talk to her

But I’m getting there… baby steps

This one I don’t understand at all…

I apparently fell in love with someone I didn’t even know

And in doing so, I lost a best friend…

That’s the thing I regret most, just losing him as a friend

He was a great kid and I don’t really know what came over me

To be honest, when I first met him I was like, alright this kid is cute but I don’t want him like that

Then I don’t really know, him and I started to hang out more and he became more than just a friend

I can honestly say I was an idiot for loving you

I think we understood each other, that’s what drew me to you

And the fact that I knew I couldn’t have you, I think that also made me want you more

Sometimes I think about you, and it’s not in a loving way

But neither is it so much in a hateful way

I do regret trying so hard to be with you

Because honestly I think it was a waste of my time

Because I know how we would have ended up

I know I just would have been another girl

But I do regret not having you as a friend

And I regret trying to, I guess…protect you?

I don’t know.

I really wish I just kept my mouth shut

I just regret not being your friend anymore

I honestly just hope your okay

I’ve honestly had a fucked up life

And sometimes its hard for me to think of what love is

And what it can be for me

I think I have a curse against me

And the girl that I loved knows what I’m talking about

I think I have this curse that draws in people

Just so I can hurt them

And I don’t want that

I can’t be that person

So I just don’t love that way anymore

And I probably won’t ever

Ever again…

Lol

Well that was emo

But I don’t know if I ever will love again

I’m mostly just sick of loving…

I guess we’ll just see

See how many heartbreaks it takes to find my knight in shinning armor

Boys... boys... boys

 Don’t you wish there was a book out there

For guys to read to know how to treat a girl

I mean just sometimes…

I don’t really know what flows through boys’ brains

But they just seriously don’t understand

So I’m going to break it down…

1)     Girls are tough, but usually not with their boyfriends. They try to be cute and sensitive. We seem to let our walls down a bit with you. So if you kind of wrestle around with us with no warning and we get hurt… you’re fucked. We are going to get mad at you if you hurt is…obviously.

2)    As badass as a girl may seem. We all often like the same little couple-y things that most people do. We like randomly getting flowers or notes in our lockers. We like having you come see us randomly just to kiss us and give us a warm hug. We like it when you kiss us at random moments. We like it when you chase our hands because you want to hold it.

3)    If we get mad at you, don’t just fucking sit there and let us sizzle in our madness. Especially if the girl is like me, I always walk away because I don’t want to say or do something stupid, we want you to chase us. We want you to run up to us, grab our hand and tell us “I’m Sorry”. Then most girls like it if you wrap your arm around they back and pull them in to kiss. But often the girl just wants the “I’m Sorry”.

4)    KISSING! This seems to be the most important thing in a relationship, rite? Well… I guess mostly. But anyways, all girls like a man with clean teeth and nice smelling breath. Like, I’m a neat freak, I have mini-toothbrushes in my backpack because I hate it when my teeth change colours because of something I ate, I also keep mints/gum. So hygiene is always sexy.

5)    BOYS! I understand that you guys usually mature at a very snail pace, but seriously… you have to learn that girls are, more than likely, more mature and we expect you to be mature at times.

6)    ROMANCING! There seems to be a bit of confusion on what that is apparently. Like when your making out with your girl, the best thing to do when you pull away is not to laugh or say something stupid, like some people I know do, but tell her that she’s beautiful or that you are so lucky to have or something just cute that will make her blush and kiss you even more. THAT’S HOW YOU DO IT! xD some boys just really don’t know that.

7)    Boys, I’m going to get one thing clear. You may tell a girl a thousand times that she is beautiful even without makeup, but SHE WILL NOT LISTEN TO YOU. Believe me, I am stubborn as fuck, and I love my makeup. Soooo, good luck trying to tell me I’m perfect. I’m pretty sure any other girl will second me on that notion.

8)    BRINGING HER STUFF! Every girl likes it. As much as we tell you we don’t want you to buy us stuff, or make us stuff, or what not… we do lol. Us girls are big fat liars. It makes us feel really special and we especially love that it’s from you. And don’t do what one of my exs did…don’t ask the girl if she wants the thing you are getting her…it ruins the whole surprise factor.

9)    SNUGGLING! Some times it really fun for us to just snuggle in the total silence. I know its hard to stay quiet sometimes, but often if we’re being really quiet and zoning out, its because we just want to snuggle in the silence and bask in your energy and company.

10)  Last but definitely not least, DON’T TALK ABOUT OTHER GIRLS INFRONT OF YOUR GIRL! In general, don’t say some girl is hot, don’t talk about some girl that randomly thinks your hott, don’t talk about that your new best friend is a girl, just don’t talk about girls UNLESS they are famous because often that won’t bother us. I don’t really know about other girls, but I am very territorial, so if I feel threatened… I am going to be madly pissed.

This is kind of  a fact that is insanely obvious, but I thought I would just jot it down at a reference just incase… girls love it when you say how much you missed them and how beautiful they are and crap like that (xD I like how I called it crap xDD) but yeah anyways… we love all that gushy, mushy stuff

But yeah… those were my tips and tricks for guys.

I know sometimes it hard to read a girl, but I am one of the most complex girls you will ever meet…no lie, ask anyone who knows me… so if you need help, just come to me.

:DD hope this helps

            - <3 Kat

Kissing U

           I swear, every time I kiss you my body just goes crazy

            The first time we kissed I felt like my entire body was on vibrate

            It was such a gnarly feeling

            And I feel like when we kissed on Friday

            Damn, I felt so many sparks and tingles

            It was madly insane

            Curious, isn’t it?

            To think that you and I were best friends

And now we’re boyfriend and girlfriend

            Sometimes though, to be honest, I get really nervous around you

            Like when you first stayed over

            I figured we were going to kiss

            But I wasn’t too sure when

            Actually I wasn’t too sure if we were going to kiss either

            When we got face to face

            I thought you were going to move in

BUT! I had to move in the 2^nd time we got face to face xD

Lol. I’m not complaining but still…

Isn’t it the guy’s job to make the first move?

Pssh… I don’t fucking know lol

ANYWAYS! When we kissed on Friday

It was funny and fun and awesome lol

ALL AT THE SAME TIME

When you picked me up I was like… OH MY GOD! xD

It was a big turn on –cough cough-

Wait what? xD

ANYWAYS! I don’t really know

I mean I’ve been talking to my friends about you, quite a bit

And you really aren’t the type of guy I would go for

Haha, I mean yeah, your emo and you and are are almost the same person

But normally I wouldn’t go out with just that

Hmm… like I’ve said multiple times

Its quite gnarly

we sure are cute for two ugly people

I honestly can say I’ve never felt this way before

I feel like when he calls me baby or says really sweet things to me

My heart turns into a pile of sand

I get so mushy for him

He’s so amazing

It’s kind of weird to think that him and I are together though

I mean he was my best friend for a while

And now him and I are dating

He’s so sweet

And he’s pretty good looking

Even though he thinks he’s ugly

I don’t really care

Because I know what I know

And well…

“We sure are cute for two ugly people”

I love that song lyric

It describes us so well xD

Yesterday he told me that I had his heart from when we became best friends

In a way… I think he had mines too

I don’t really know if I love him like romantically

Because I’m not totally cool with saying that I love people like that anymore

But I definitely have a strong connection with him

I often get all smiley and warm-hearted when I talk to him or about him

He just seems to have a hold on me

It’s pretty gnarly to have this feeling

BLEEH! Lol

I feel like a little girl or something

Like I said, it’s gnarly

-sigh- lol

I don’t really know what to say now…

Uuuhmm… my favorite things in the world are tacos, cupcakes, pudding, blankets, dinosaurs, kittens, the smell of mint/menthol, and other things lol

Yaaah… random

Mkay BYE!