Recently...

Lately I’ve been feeling bad because my best friend is still in love with me

And I love him a lot too

But! He lives in LA and he’s being ridiculous

He needs to know that I can’t sit around

And wait till I’m old enough to go live with him

I don’t think that’s fair

And when he told me he was in love with me at first

He had a girlfriend after that

And yes, I was jealous but I got over it

I just wish that he would be happy for me…

Because it seems like he’s taking his feelings over mines

I don’t really know…

I just hope he gets over this

And me and him can still be best friends

Because I totally love him

He’s been my best friend since forever

He’s like apart of me, apart of my family…

Romancin'

Isn’t it really funny to look back at pictures of your exs or people that you used to have a crush on?

I was looking at pictures of a guy whom I thought was perfect and would be the one for me…

Yeah… he’s one ugly mother fucker xD

But anyways that’s not what this blog is about

It’s about romancing and love

Don’t you always find it interesting how different it seems to be in movies?

In movies problems last a couple minutes

And they always seem to have the perfect knowledge on how to get the girl

In reality, boys are pretty stupid

And I know some boys are going to read this and be like… HEY?!!

But seriously guys, I’m just here to help

Here are some tips and tricks

Now I know all girls are different BUT!

Pretty much all girls are suckers for these tips

ALL GIRLS LOVE HYGEINE! I’m not making that shit up

I love a boy with fresh breath and some nice cologne

Girls also love flowers

Me, personally, I’ve always wanted a bouquet of roses

Dark red and black roses to be exact

But most girls like pink, purple, or just normal red roses

DON’T EVER GET A GIRL ORANGE OR YELLOW ROSES ON DATES

The only time you get yellow roses is when you are trying to surprise them when their sick

Girls LOVE it when you open doors for them

I don’t really know why we love it so much

And WE LOOOVE PRESENTS
even if a girl says “no babe don’t buy that for me, its okay”

Secretly we want you to buy it Lol

Sometimes using movie bits make your romance blossom

Like I’ve always wanted my boyfriend to drive over to my house in the rain

And blast my favorite song, Take My Hand by the Perfect Measure

And once I run outside he’d take my hand and begin to dance with me in the rain

Yes, VERY CHEESEY but all of us girls are suckers for a romance

You just have to figure out what she wants most in romance

You have to treat her sweetly

But most of all

YOU HAVE TO BE YOURSELF

Because if she likes the fake you

Then she can’t fall in love with the real you

HOPE THIS HELPS!!

My New Yrs Resolution:

well this is what I'm thinking...

get that special guy to be mines, get RELLE good grades (i mostly want As and Bs but sum Cs are fine), to NOT Give A Fuck about what anyone says (although i already do that xD), try to stop an addiction i have (not going to say what it is), be more of a participator in school, to capture my dream and push forward into what i want, and above of all LOVE MY FRIENDS AND FAMILY WITH ALL MY HEART!!! but ove course, i already do that :DD

i think 2010 was definitely a weird and wild ride for me. i went thru alot of emotional things that made me stronger and i went through alot of changes and finding out who i really am and who i truly wanna be

2010 was an amazing ride. i learned so much about ppl, relationships, dreams, friendships, and enemies

i dont regret anything that i've ever done becuz i believe that i am a much stronger person and i love who i am

i love all the friends i have now and all the ppl i have had the pleasure to work with

i kno ive made a couple enemies too, but i definitely dont regret anything ive done

ikno ive made plenty of mistakes and looking bak i kno that i did and still have alot of problems

but i think this year i am going to learn to deal with things bettr and i am just so happy that i have my friends and family by my side

and i especially wanna thank my fans becuz you guys are so sweet and yu guys make my day everyday

thank all of you so much

i love all of yu guys with all my heart of hearts

and i hope your 2011 is spectacular

and remember to nevr think that the sky is the limit... becuz its only the beginning

Christmas List?

Dear Santa,
What I want for Christmas the most is him.
You know who he is...
I just want him for myself because
I will never admit it because I don't believe in love,
but I definitely really like him.
Thank You and Happy Holidays

I Just Can't Breathe

I don’t really understand why I like you so much

There is just something about you

Maybe its your eyes, the way they sparkle and how even when you wear eyeliner they seem so deep and mysterious

Maybe it’s the way you speak, your voice seems so soft and it just floats on the air like a feather on a breezy day

Maybe it’s your touch, when you hug me I feel a great warmth or when our hands touch sometimes I feel sparks

Maybe it’s the way you care, even though you and I haven’t known each other for a long time, I can sense that there is some kind of strong bond between us

Even though for you it’s probably just a bond of friendship

I don’t really know…

Sometimes I feel like you give me these signals that you want to be with me

But then somehow she falls back into my mind so I try to push you away

When I was at your house yesterday I kept on scooting away and hiding in the corner because I wanted to kiss you, I wanted to hold your hand, I wanted you so bad

But I knew you had her

And I know that your so hung up on her that I’m really just one of those lame ole’ best friends that crushes on you and seems to be a huge dork

I don’t really know, I honestly have no idea how you think of me

Because our friend doesn’t tell me anything

And I don’t hang around your other friends

All I really know is that they’ve said that I’m a better choice for you

Which, no offense to her, I think I am

I mean… I’ve heard about how shitty she treats you

I heard that she hits you, whines all the time, is mean to your friends, does and says things behind your back, and ridicules you for really little things

Its ridiculous, if you ask me

And I know that if your reading this your probably thinking I’m jealous or whatever

But in reality, I kind of am but I wouldn’t let that effect our friendship

Like I’ve told oh so many people, I respect you and love you {I’m saying love as a friend} so I respect you and her’s relationship

It just kind of sucks to know that she cuddles with you, and kisses you, and does all those little couple things with you

I don’t even know really why I have feelings for you

Its really weird, when I first met you, I definitely thought you were cute

But then later I began to hate you because I found out about her

Then you and I became best friends

And then I don’t really know… my feeling just began to grow for you

It’s fucking weird…

But believe me dude, I try really hard to push my feeling away for you

I think yesterday I did a good job

Well until we went to you house and shared a blanket

It was a bit harder that way, because that was actually a really romantic moment

Well I guess…

I don’t really know

I guess I really shouldn’t make a big deal out of all of this

This post seems a bit pointless actually

Because I mean no matter what I’m going to like you

But I’m just going to be that dorky best friend that has a crush

But in reality, I’m going to be here for you no matter what

Mostly as a friend

I don’t really know about us dating anymore

Seems kind of weird when I actually think about it

I mean when you say that I’m beautiful or something

I usually smile, but I also begin to cry

Because even though you say it

I feel like its untrue

I mean maybe I am beautiful, but apparently not as beautiful as her

UGH! I hate that I just said that

Makes me sound like a loser

Well I guess I kind of am one

Haha. I mean what dork would seriously write down exactly how they feel like this

Most people would just say it by now

But I guess I really am not like most people

BLEH! Haha

Anyways, I’m going to stop typing now

Before I embarrass myself some more xD

Here’s someone who knows how to express feelings better than me { I Just Can’t Breathe by The Perfect Measure }

Being Single

It’s actually not that bad

I mean for a while I thought it was the worse thing in the whole wide world

But in reality its kind of fun

Yes I do have crushes on people

Even though most of them I know I wont actually be with

It’s okay though

I mean I still have great friends that I love with all my heart

And I’m still going to a good school

The school is only good because of my friends though lol

There are some guys that I do have a crush on though

I do have a crush on one of my exs

I have a crush on two of my best friends {btw if you go to my school, you don’t know them}

And I still have a crush on this guy who I know is a total jerk

But I can’t help but to like him still

It’s not that terrible though

I mean, I think having crushes keeps your heart pumping

But it’s still kind of sucks to think that they probably don’t like you back

But it’s okay.

My dreams keep me alive and well

It’s weird though.

I’m actually kind of happier now that I’m single

I mean, yes, I do still think about her

And I still miss her sometimes

I still have a hard time listening to some songs because of her

But in reality, I think I’m going to be okay

I’m not saying like is better without her

But I’m just really hoping that I’m going to be okay

I’m mostly happy with my friends that I have right now

Like Violet, Erica, Angele, Jason, Erik, Andrea, Danii, Chris, Robbie…and I don’t really know who else I missed

I’m pretty sure I didn’t miss anyone

Lol if I did I’d be a terrible friend then hahaha

But I love my friends a lot

And they mean more to me than anything else in the world

So I’m happy with my life right now

:D 

Dear Mr. Secrecy

The worst part about all of this is that

It seems like nothing wants us to be together

I don’t even think you really want us together

I don’t really know…

I really like you

And there’s just something about you that makes me go crazy

I just really really like you

And I kind of feel like crying right now because we can’t be

I really wish that I could tell you how I feel

Believe me I want to

I really want to

But I know that if I tell you that our friendship would be different

And I don’t want to be the person that fucks with your girlfriend

And like you just texted me “its kind of weird since I have a gf”

UGH! I hate hearing about her

It makes me feel like shit

But I can’t really help my feelings for you

Especially the fact that you couldn’t stay over tonight makes me sad

I know its find of a bad idea to have you stay anyways…

But still…

I really want you for myself

Ugh and I hate myself for saying so

But its so true

I don’t really know what to do….