Sooo...

He hasnt told me he loves me

He complains that i dont kiss him first when he never kisses me first

He acts like i'm not allowed to be upset when i fuckin am

Think about it, we act almost exactly the same except the "babe" and "i love you" thing and maybe i'm "overreacting" but i'm realy not

Me and him have been together for technically 1 year and 7 months... I think thats enough time for us to say that we love each other even after a big fight

Its like he only cares about me bcuz he wants to get his "dicky sticky"

Ooh and, he always calls me and tries to be romantic ONLY when he's drunk

I get when he was "punishing me" for that week, but whats goin on now is bullshit... Complete and utter bullshit

I'm sorry but thats just how i feel

And i'm getting more and more upset the more we hang out and the fact that he aint even doin anythn like that for me

So yeah, i'm pissed...

I guess...

With the way everything is going

I guess we're starting all over

He never says i love you to me

He doesn't call me babe

He just seems to not care

To not wanna try

And i really don't feel like trying if he doesn't want to.

I honestly dunno what i'm supposed to do

I'm not really sure what we are doing

It just feels like we're starting all over and honestly, its kind of bullshit...

I guess we'll see what happens

I just hope we're not moving backwards... Because thats really unfair

What to believe

Do i believe him? Sometimes i do and sometimes i don't

Its hard to believe in someone that has betrayed you before... Its hard to believe in someone that says nothin is goin on but then i hear somethn different from somebody else.

I'm not saying i believe in rumors, nor am i saying that i don't trust him.

Its more of just like, if you wanna be stupid, don't expect me to hold your hand after you are done.

I'm just really hoping i'm not being made a fool of. 

I guess we'll see what happens.

I just felt defeated and alone all week, so its kinda hard to stay upbeat and positive when you honestly do not know what is going on.

I'm trying to be cool, calm, and collected and because normally nothing is going on and i'm just trippin...

I just really hope that continues to be the case, but i guess we'll see.

I know how to play it to find out if its real.

I'm always scared of what i do not know.

I'm just hoping that everything is okay now, and i dont have to worry anymore.

I just want things to be better

I really just wish things were better

I love him very much and i want us to be back

I just wish things were back to when we used to cuddle and kiss and fuck :P

I just miss him... So much

Compromise

It actually makes me really sad that he doesn't want to see me or talk to me.

Like what boyfriend doesn't want to see or talk to their girlfriend often?

I just wish he cared more

I feel like i'm the only who really want to be in this relationship

Like how can someone not miss someone they supposedly love... 

Idunno, i guess our relationship has turned to shit.. And i dont really know what to do about it.

:/ i just wanna be loved, i just want to be cared about, i just wanna be missed.

I guess we'll see what happens. I guess i just need to learn to stop caring.

Rant

You are a fat worthless piece of shit and what you see is all your fault

I hope you die you lumpy sack of shot. I hope you get liver cancer and die

I hope you get a heart attack and die

I hope your nxt whore gives you AIDs and you die

You treat me like shit? Then fine. If we "decide to stay together," ima treat you like shit... See how you like it.

Dueces cocksucker.

Confirmation

Yeaaaah.. After tonight, i am very certain i am going to kill myself after thanksgiving

The truth

No one really cares if i am dead or alive

So i really dunno why i am keeping myself alive

I am a shitty makeup artist

I have no friends

And the friends i "do have" have way better friends that will fulfill the "whole" i would leave in them

I know that my boyfriend doesn't care because i can tell he feels better without me

I'm not skinny, i'm not pretty... I add nothing to this earth. I am seriously just a huge waste of space

I seriously should just kill myself.

I think I will... After thanksgiving.. 'Cause i've been looking forward to a home-cooked turkey dinner for like ever

After that... Whats the point

I'm ugly, i'm useless, i'm stupid and no one cares

If you do "care" don't bother trying to stop me. I've made up my mind

HAHAHAHAHA wow, you fuckin liar

So he's been tryna pin me as a person who hides our relationship or that i am flirting with everyone

Lol well then why did i just read a message with some girl telling you to run around naked

And i'm hiding things? Why was your relationship status hidden and only set to be shown to a specific group

Lol you been caught

I changed it so now everyone can see it

Try to fuck with me now

I caught you

i cant think of a title

i dont get how caring is such a fucking crime
i think you not caring is a crime
all i want is for you to be fucking happy
and i feel like the only thing that makes you happy is my fucking misery
all i want is for you to share things with me
and actually be happy with me and its so unfuckingfair the way you treat me
you treated the biggest whore in the world like a fucking princess
but me who geniunely cares about you, you can not fucking spare a goddamn fucking moment for me and i fucking hate it
you wonder why i fucking cry and bitch and moan all the time where there you go
this is why
you hate me
and ya know what, sometimes i think i hate you too

you constantly hurt my feelings and i am sick of it

if change does not happen soon then i am just going to leave
because i am sick of this
i'm sick of not being heard
i'm sick of being blown off
and i am sick of being your rag doll that you play with when you need me

that is not me
i am sick of being treated that way

so either love me and show that to me
or don't and leave

because i am tired of crying, i am tired of hurting, and i am just tired in general.

because you are a self-righteous douche

if you know a self-righteous douche
then just agree with him until he shuts the fuck up
because when this douchebag lies, they will never admit that they suck and that they are a liar
because obviously they are way too much of an idiot to do anything that makes any sense
so just keep agreeing with them till they just shut the fuck up
because they are idiots
and no one cares about them.

I wish...

I wish you were more supportive

I wish you were actually romantic

I wish you were nicer to me

I wish you noticed me

I wish you would take care of me

I wish you would show that you loved me

I wish I could see that you care

I wish I didn't have to ask things of you

Why is this so hard? Why are these things I have to wish for?