All i really want

I really feel like life has become an enemy of mine.

I feel like i literally get the middle finger from God all the time.

I'm so sick of the bullshit i am constantly dealt. I dont deserve it and i dont need it.

Lets talk about true fairness...

A relationship is always about "in sickness and in health."

I dont care if thats a friendship, a dating relationship or a marriage.

No matter what, if you actually care about someone, you should want to take care of them and make sure they are always okay.

For example, lets say your boyfriend is getting mad at you over something that to you feels pretty small but he blows it up out of proportion and ends up making you feel like shit causing you to cry super hard for hours at your friends party. You can't say that you weren't wrong for what you did but you know that it didnt need to be handled the way it was. You end up spending a lot of the party by yourself trying so hard to stop crying but you're still shedding a few tears. It becomes close to 3am and your boyfriend comes stumbling over sloppy drunk. You ask your friend to help you walk home with your mentally incapacitated bf and you guys go on your way. You try to hold him up, to keep him quiet and to keep him out of harms way. When you get home, he continues to yell at you for God only knows what then he starts to make noises like he's gonna throw up. You rush him to the bathroom, let him throw up, make him food to help him feel better, keep giving him water to keep hydrated, change his clothes for him because he can't take them off or put them on himself and there is throw up all over it, then you lay him in bed and wait however long you need to till you know he's asleep.

All of that sounds pretty loving and caring, right?

But lets say you randomly feel sick, can't eat dinner, and all you want is some quiet darkness for your stomach to calm down but instead your bf gets mad at you for not eating a meal he prepared even though you helped with a lot of it as well and you keep telling him you feel sick but all he cares about is that you are not eating his food.

Or lets say something happens and you've been crying for hours and ypur boyfriend, who is always supposed to love you and care for you, just lets you lay there or sit there by yourself and let you continue to hurt.

I know i am not perfect and i know that i am not alwaya sensative or clearheaded... But i never stop taking care of the people i love.